The first time I left my oldest child was for an overnight wedding. I had to go, but I was a total mess.
I was worried sick that something would happen to my one-year-old baby and really didn’t want to leave him for even an hour, let alone twenty-four.
My husband reassured me that I needed to learn how to leave him, and he promised that my father-in-law, my son’s grandfather, would take care of him, even if it wasn’t exactly how I would.
He reminded me that our son would be in good hands. When I got back home, all I could say was that both big and small hands were covered in chocolate.
In just 24 hours, my son picked up a new word, “choc,” bringing his vocabulary to three words. He couldn’t say “Grandad,” but he sure could say “choc.”
When my father-in-law saw my surprise at feeding chocolate to a baby, he explained in his soft Irish accent that Cadbury made their Chocolate Buttons tiny so that little hands could manage them.
He seemed to suggest that Cadbury knew better what my child should eat than I did. I don’t think I took that very well.
If I had been in a better mood, I might have realized that day that I still had a lot to learn.
This is what my father-in-law has done with my kids.
He has dressed two of them in each other’s clothes and never even noticed. They’re not twins!
He has put them in each other’s diapers, so one child was swimming in a diaper way too big, and the other had leaks everywhere. Remember, they’re still not twins!
He helped my eleven-year-old son dye his brown hair bright blonde, and it took two trips to the hairdresser to get it back to brown before school in September.
I lost the chocolate battle early on, and to this day, he shows up at my door with one suitcase of clothes and another full of candy.
My father-in-law has played soccer, cricket, golf, and football with my kids, even though he doesn’t know how to throw a football or even how to hold one.
He’s taken them bike riding and fruit picking.
He has taught them to plant vegetables and even bet on racehorses.
He has laughed with them at Tom and Jerry and sung along with Barney.
He has chased after soccer balls for hours while my boys practiced shot after shot, usually missing the goal completely.
He has taken them to parks, zoos, movies, and playgrounds. He even took them river rafting, which is pretty heroic since he doesn’t know how to swim.
When they were little, he would wake up with them long before the sun, sneak them out of their beds or cribs so quietly that my husband and I would sleep right through it. He’d get them in the stroller and take them to the park.
By the time they returned, they had already been out for breakfast. There was syrup in their hair and bits of pancake stuck to their clothes, yet I would have happily slept until 9:00.
My father-in-law introduced them to their first piece of chocolate and their first pint of beer, and he was there for everything in between.
He has shown them how to use every power tool sold at Home Depot, and they’ve taught him to play dorm room drinking games.
I’m not sure who’s learned more.
And now, nearly twenty years later, my grown-up sons look forward to every visit from him and beg him to come back as he leaves.
So what did I finally learn? We learn how to be grandparents while we’re still just parents.
Even when our kids are tiny, long before we can imagine having grandkids, we’re watching and learning from those who have been parents longer than we have. He has shown me how to be there for the grandchildren I might have one day.
This is what my father-in-law has done for me. He has taught me how to be a grandparent.
When I get there, I know I’ll be ready.
While I was figuring out motherhood, he was quietly teaching me how to be a grandmother.
On some blessed day in the future, with a beautiful grandchild in my arms, I’ll remember that a little chocolate never hurt a child, and that there’s nothing, absolutely nothing, more important than being there for your grandchild.
Credit: original owner ( respect 🫡)
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