Dear Husband,
I know I told you I was going to clean the kitchen today. So when you walk in later and see that the kitchen looks exactly the same, I don’t want you to be surprised.
Let me explain.
I walked into the kitchen ready to tackle it. I picked up the hairbrush and rubber bands from the table and carried them to the bathroom. While there, I noticed a pile of towels that had been fermenting nicely for several days. Naturally, I grabbed them and headed to the laundry room.
Once in the laundry room, I figured I might as well start a load since both hampers were overflowing and the room smelled like cat pee mixed with B.O. I hit the buttons, shut the lid, and started back toward the kitchen.
On the way, I was spotted by Child B. A very hangry Child B. She followed me in with her dramatic whining, so I gave her a cheese stick and sent her to eat it in the garage. Because, of course, I was about to clean the kitchen.
Her little face reminded me I hadn’t emailed her teacher yet about the Valentine’s party. So I ran to the computer. The second I sat down, Child C stormed in screaming because his cape had fallen off. I fixed it, but not correctly, so he collapsed into the most theatrical meltdown you’ve ever seen.
I carried him to his room, removed the cowboy boots so the door would survive the kicking that was about to come, and left him there. Then I headed back to the computer to… wait, what was I doing again? Oh yes. Fifteen minutes of Facebook later, I shut the laptop.
Because obviously, I was still in the middle of cleaning the kitchen.
I walked back in, saw the oven clock, and realized it was time to pick up Child A from school.
So no. The kitchen is not clean. Nothing is ever clean. My life feels like a constant loop of starting things and never finishing.
Just thought I would let you know before you ask. Not that you ever do.
Love you forever,
Your Wife
P.S. Please remind me to email Child B’s teacher.